The Jeff Crank Show: A GUY NAMED JENIFER

ROBERT HARKINS

All hail, great master! Grave Sir, hail! I come to answer thy best pleasure; be it to fly, to swim, to dive into the fire, to ride on the curled clouds to thy strong bidding task….[i]

The Senate in an act of cynical self-interest just voted to strike the word “lunatic” from a federal law defining mental illness. The Senate errs dangerously. While US Code Title 1, Chapter 1 does describe the mentally ill in pejorative terms, its language regarding idiots and lunatics, fits too well the university professor who inculcates his students with disdain for Western Civilization; a president who claims that the United States Supreme Court has no right to review the constitutionality of legislation; a democratic party whose deficit math defies the laws of grammar school arithmetic; and a Congress generally engaged in profligate acts of economic and cultural lunacy.

The lunatic as that word is written in the Code may be a judge state or federal; an Occupy Wall Streeter (public defecator, street corner “masturbationist” rapist and political imbecile); a university bureaucrat, Justice Department lawyer, or congressman. The word therefore is too critically important to be repealed. Lunatics must be identified, restrained and suitably medicated.

Finally, the lunatic may be found in a subculture dedicated to the chemical/surgical invention of new and fantastic genders. This lunatic intends to force multi-gender acceptance upon a society at once rational, traditional and religious. That the Code’s drafters intended to prohibit such lunacy in all its anti-social and political manifestations is self-evident in their unmistakably brutal language.

"the words 'insane' and 'insane person' and 'lunatic' shall include every idiot, lunatic, insane person, and person non compos mentis."

I rest my case.

Enter now of all creations a fabulous guy named “Jenifer.” I shall refer to him as “Guy Jenifer.” He is a man through and through, and the biological father of children. One day he appeared at the University wearing a dress, sporting makeup, swishing about like a teenage cutie pie and in all manner of charming and coquettish ways pretending to be a woman.

Politically correct bureaucrats occupying the University of Arkansas, shamefully surrendering to threats leveled by what is euphemistically known as the “Justice Department,” ordered that “Jenifer” have access to all women’s bathrooms and gym showers.

The University apparatchiks did not unwillingly command the extinction of privacy for all campus women. Nor did they give a fig that they were exposing vulnerable women or their children to the risk of assault, embarrassment, anger and mortification. No, they extinguished with enthusiasm a woman’s right to dignity and privacy the better to attest to their politically correct masters a trembling, faithful and witless submission.

Like Shakespeare’s Arial, they were eager to indulge “Guy Jenifer’s” best pleasure; be it to fly, to swim, to dive into the fire, to ride on the curled clouds, to his strong bidding task— and to bid thee Woman, “Surrender to the ways and wiles of Guy Jenifer. Share with him thy campus bath rooms; step together naked into the tempestuous shower.”

The “Justice Department” and University apparatchiks were dictatorial and ruthless in their demand that all campus women surrender their privacy and safety to an aging male decked out in drag—or following his conquest of the University of Arkansas, his fellow male gals. They could not have been more overt in their contempt for women.

Because Guy “Jenifer” has simply decided to refer to himself as a woman, a perverse lunacy mandates that all American citizens must now actually believe that he is a woman or forever keep their silence—that is, if they know what’s good for them.

Although he “Jenifer” is a man, the lunatic has held that all male pronouns—when referring to trans gendered males—are hereby and forever repealed. All and everyone therefore must refer to “Jenifer” as a “she” or a “her” or face unpleasant consequences. For those with the temerity to suggest that “Jenifer” is still a man the lunatic has created yet another epithet calculated to defame the reputation of the dissenting man or woman, to characterize him or her as a knuckle dragging, heartless beast barely risen from the primordial ooze—the epithet is “transphobe.”

The lunatic’s invention of such epithets is of course a vile political instrument crafted to intimidate, to silence rational debate, to mandate fanatical dogmas, to stop dissent; to banish reason in a celebration of the irrational and insane.

“Jenifer” of course sued the University of Arizona demanding that it coerce its female population into the acceptance of his decision to allege that he is a woman. Guy Jenifer might have used the gender-neutral bathrooms provided by a kowtowing coven of university bureaucrats but to do so would have been too terribly demeaning—and doubtless as well a corruption of Guy “Jenifer’s” constitutional right to privacy.

The University’s repeal of a woman’s right to the most personal privacy is based upon the theory that gender for the past four thousand years or so has been and continues to be a calculated, transparent and false “social construct.” That men and women, in all ages and places, in ancient Babylon and Egypt, in modern Paris and New York City have consecrated their lives to one another, to the loving conception, birthing and raising of the next generation of children simply proves the perniciousness of a social construct that ignorant commoners over the eons have had the temerity to revere as family.

The lunatic wonders why after all is it that only men and women are permitted to conceive, birth and raise children? Why not let somebody else do it—say Guy “Jenifer” and another female guy just like him? Indeed, the very notion that conception and birth, the sacred creation of life itself, must be restricted to a biological man and woman smacks of elitism, inequality and discrimination. That only men and women should be allowed to conceive and raise children is a view so narrow, provincial and discriminatory their cohabitation should be immediately and forever prohibited. Four thousand years is enough. Discrimination must end. Our country must have equality uber alles.

However fantastic is this pseudo scientific collage of perverse chicanery, the lunatic intends to force Americans to believe that the historic and pre-historic man-woman social construct so called is readily impeached merely by injecting into healthy males massive doses of female hormones, wishful thinking and genital redecoration.

In fact, at the University of Arizona the definition of transsexual does not even require that a man submit to injections or surgical excision. The Arizona test is simply whether the male really, really and truly believes that somewhere inside his hirsute geography is a woman, doubtless beautiful, pining to be set free. Furthermore, “At the University of Arizona, all students are allowed to use whichever restroom, male or female, that they choose, putting heterosexual students at risk for assault and violation of privacy….”—and doubtless sparking many a metaphysical man/woman conversation at the men’s urinal or the gym shower.[ii]

All this gives a new and deeper meaning to lunacy does it not? But how wonderful for them. Henceforth Guy “Jenifer” may “go” where he will, or shower where he will—and damn to perdition those women, their friends, husbands, children and family, who object to his violation of their personal privacy and dignity simply because he is a man addled by the notion that he is a woman.

Personal privacy and rational inquiry, freedom and dignity, rights ancient, natural and constitutional are close to extinction in this land of the free and home of the brave. Still Guy Jenifer has raised a critical question for those who treasure a society protected and preserved by custom, tradition, the splendid religious, literary and philosophical wisdom of Western Civilization.

Then finally, think about this: If the lunatic is imbued with the power to compel the acceptance of Guy Jenifer and the outrage against privacy he has imposed on all women attending the University of Arkansas, then any idea, however outrageous, obscene, nihilistic and destructive may be imposed upon an American people.

Robert Harkins is the author of “Renegades” available at Amazon.com in hard cover and kindle editions. Type in Renegades and Robert Harkins.